Many people know that I have driving anxiety. For years, just the thought of driving would make me completely freeze up. My entire body would stiffen up, and I wouldn’t be able to move. I just couldn’t do it. If I did get behind the wheel, I would have a panic attack. And so I hadn’t gotten my license as a teenager.
And so when we learned that I was pregnant, I knew I needed to get my license. There was no longer any choice in the matter. I had to fight the anxiety and fight the fear. But I knew that my hubby didn’t have the time to try to teach me, and he wouldn’t push me as much as I needed to be pushed to get my license.
So I called a driving school around our area. They would come to the house, pick me up, we would drive around, and they would drop me off at the house once we were done. The very first time, I had a panic attack right before my instructor arrived. I told myself that I can have this attack right before, and that I wouldn’t be allowed to have another one while I was driving. Somehow, I didn’t have one. That very first lesson, my instructor scheduled my road test. I hadn’t expected to actually have him set it up right away–or at least not for less than two months away. I had thought I would have a couple of months, until the end of summer at the earliest. But, he scheduled my test for today.
After about ten hours of practice with my instructor, and a few hours with hubby, I took the test. I was terrified. I didn’t know if I could do it. I started the test, and tried my best. I didn’t think I had passed as I was taking the test. I could have sworn I had failed.
But by the grace of God, and thanks to tons of prayer from my instructor, myself, and my friends, the instructor said I passed. I couldn’t believe it. I was shaking. How could I have passed? I didn’t think I had done well enough to pass. Through God, I was able to. And my instructor told me afterwards that I had the toughest tester in Monroe County. So, if I passed with her, there was no way I didn’t deserve my license.
This doesn’t mean that my driving anxiety is gone, or that I won’t have another panic attack when driving. Or that I’m not going to screw up and do something wrong. But the fact that I actually took, and passed, my road test showed how much I have grown in the last couple of months since starting the lessons.
Now, to continue to be confident in driving and to learn from my road test and lessons.