When I was younger, my mom and I were barely making it. My mom had left my dad when I was three, and we moved a few states away, and stayed with family for a few years. My mom is considered disabled by the government due to her depression and anxiety. And so she can only work part time. And so as a child, I wasn’t able to do a lot. I wasn’t able to take dance classes, or do anything that required a lot of money. My clothes didn’t come from the big name brand companies–they usually just came from stores like Wal-Mart or K-Mart. I didn’t get hand-me-downs because I was an only child, although I did get some things from my cousins.
When I was sixteen and wanted some nicer things, my mom told me that I had to get a job in order to get them. Money was too tight. I couldn’t have a cell phone. I had to make sure that I raised a lot of money in fundraisers to be able to go on trips. And so I got a job, and worked throughout my junior and senior years of high school, not really being able to hang out with friends and enjoy being a teenager.
I had to work throughout college in order to pay for books. I had to take credit cards out in order to help supplement paying for the books when I didn’t make enough. I planned our wedding on a budget, and took advantage of any deal that we could manage to get.
But today, I have been reminded just how blessed I am.
Recently, I was offered a promotion at my job. I’ve been with my company about two years now. I was shocked when they offered me the promotion. When I interviewed for my current position, my boss said that there wasn’t much room to move up in the company. And I said that that was fine–I didn’t care about being high up or anything, as long as I enjoyed my coworkers and my work. And it’s true.
That’s why I turned down the position. It was to become the receptionist at our company. I would be sitting at desk, by myself, sometimes with the president of the company across from me. At first, I thought I would be okay with it. I thought that I would enjoy the quiet of the position, and being able to get a lot of work done. But, I missed my coworkers too much, even though I could easily hear them from above me, and had lunch with them still. I missed being able to talk to someone who was right beside me.
I was also terrified of the depression coming back. I could already feel the loneliness creeping back, the questioning of if I was doing a good enough job, the not feeling included in everything. I could feel every part of the depression starting to creep back into my head. And I knew then that I couldn’t do that position. There was no way I was going back to that time of my life, when I was scared and alone. I wasn’t going to make the battle any worse than it already was.
And so I am blessed because I was at least offered the position–offered the chance to do even better than I already was, and I was blessed to have the top three people in the company say that I would do great and that they wanted me to do that position.
But I’m blessed for so many more reasons. I have a loving family (although they drive me crazy sometimes) and I was blessed with my husband being my best friend as well, great coworkers, great friends, and a great church family.
We have two small groups that we lead–a Young Adult small group, and a Young Married Couples small group. In both of these small groups, we have made relationships with people that we probably wouldn’t have met before, and who we now have life-long friendships with. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for every person in each of the groups, and how He plans to have us all continue to grow together.
And I’m getting a book published. When I was younger, I never expected to be able to get a book published. I never thought that my writing would ever be good enough to get published. I dreamed of it–hoped that maybe one day I would be able to. And then God blessed me with the ability to get a book published. It’s still in the process, and I’m still waiting to hear back about a final copy of it, but it is nearly complete. I cannot wait to see it in person and to actually hold it in my hands.
I’m not meaning to brag here (okay, maybe a little) but also to show you that life does get better. When my husband and I first got married, we were barely able to make it because I was only working part-time while in college. And now, we both have good paying jobs, and we both love what we do and our coworkers. Neither one of us plan on leaving our companies any time soon.
The things that you are going through right now is not your final destination. It is not where you are going to be forever. Your difficult situations will get better. Your good situations will get even better. Every day is a new day, and every day can be better than the last. Some days they will be harder, but each day is new and is worth fighting.
It is always worth fighting. Never give up. Things will always get better. There are always going to be difficult times, but you can so easily overcome them. And then, you will look back and say “Wow. That wasn’t too bad.” Or you will say “Wow. I can’t believe I survived that. But I did.” And that’s what matters. Life is such an amazing thing, and I cannot wait to see what God has planned for me.